I love drama, especially in my own life, great drama, crying, feeling sorry for poor me. But most of all I love it when I am over and done with it. When I can laugh about my own drama again. That I am glad that I survived the “drama queen in the garden of the green lizards”-state again.
I noticed that the procedure is the same as when I try and go for a run, to be active for a change and pump it up. At first I feel too lazy to put on my shoes, when I finally go it feels awkward during the run. I begin to sweat, the water drips in my eyes, my nose runs, I avoid cyclists or loose stones, I have struggling breathing, looking at my watch every minute, it is not much fun.
But the difference when I get home! You should see me when I enter the door. Really. The contrast between before and after the run… I am full of energy, boosted, feeling great, another couple of hours to feel the adrenaline in my body. But next thing I know: time for a run again in a couple of days. Nah, forget about it.
What is this thing called drama really? Is it the same why the goodnews papers don’t survive for long? That it is boring to be always cheerful and happy and full of life? Do we need to balance the positive and negative? I have to think of a flashlight and the new-age terminology of the lightworker. The flashlight has a positive and a negative pole, both are needed to create light. If they are out of whack, no flashlight or torch, sorry guys you have to check the inner workings of the flashlight again.
I am not enlightened so the flashlight works part-time, not all of the time. I live in this world of duality and I know that I do that. Some times it frustrates me, but you know I am doing my best. I would say that until I am enlightened and using the flashlight full time, that I am here to learn and deal with both the positive and the negative side. My positive side is the part that I want to show off and the negative side is better hidden. Like when I get back from running, it is only then that running is great.
So there is still work to be done on the inner front. The ‘show-off’ attitude and the ‘drama’ attitude are still in need of repair. I think I had better begin to love my drama, so God must love drama too. So that I can see what other options I have. But I would also vote for drama now and again, it feels great when it is over and life could be boring without it.
This post was inspired by the post ‘Is God in love with drama?’ where Natural high says: “And so I wondered, in reading Nic Paton’s A dramatic God, whether the drama that we pretend to hate, but which we secretly (to some degree) love, isn’t Divinely intended for us to grapple with”.