In my family with two kids that go to school an atmosphere of stress and struggle was creeping in. Both kids were pushing all my buttons and I felt more and more powerless in how to get out of this rabbit hole. I was at the point that I actually told them: “If you go on like this, I will walk out of that door and I might never come back.” Yikes. I really said it. At the bottom of the rabbit hole, cornered, hurt and powerless.In the library I rented my normal stack of books, 8 in total per week. One of them was the book The highly sensitive child by Elaine Aron. I read it and I noticed some good points. I found inspiration to look at my kids in another way and myself as well. Same issue as above: to talk about things at hand and be honest to both myself and my kids. About feelings, events and what more.
I began with a total different attitude towards my kids. I felt very good with the approach and kept my calm and regained my wit at the same time. It was a game to talk to them. Today my kid got angry and more than angry. With me being in another kind of thinking I found us communicating in another way rather than the usual fight where I try to make her behave.
Little by little she opened up. About one thing, the next thing and the next thing. And then she revealed stuff about the bullying. She experienced it with one kid in particular. It began almost 3 years ago. I knew of one event 2,5 years ago but I thought it had stopped. That we had dealt with it for good. It had not.
She talked about it and she had already written a little note to her teacher. It went like this. “Dear L. I really liked the year in this group at school. But now I do not like it any more. This kid X is being horrible to me.”
How good of her. We went to school and of course we ran into the teacher outside of the class. She gave the little note and we talked for a little while. The teacher promised to help her and work to a solution. I left and got to see my girl only after 3 pm.
And why do I post about this? I saw the face of my girl. She was glowing again. The girl that I had lost slowly, very slowly now nearly three years ago was back today. All the anger and the stress that she carried was gone today. She smiled, radiant, was fresh open and happy. We even went swimming with two of her classmates and we had fun.
I am so happy as a mum and as a human being that this opening arrived. Just wished to share with you.