Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

Working as a trainee staff member in a new learning school I face this dilemma: What do I feel inspired to do? If I am not inspired, should I wait for inspiration? This gives rise to the next set of questions: Why am I sometimes inspired and then another day not at all? What initiatives can I take to find the inspiration? Can I speed up the process?

Children seem to have inspiration to do things, adults loose that. Why is that? How can I reach the child-woman that is living inside of me?

I found a TED-video by Sugata Mitra called “Can kids teach themselves?”

He does an experiment called ‘a hole in the wall’. In this hole he places a PC and leaves it online if possible 24/7. Within minutes Indian kids find out how the mouse and the PC work and begin browsing! I quote:

The experiments have shown that, in the absence of supervision or formal teaching, children can teach themselves and each other, if they’re motivated by curiosity…

This word triggers me. Curiosity. That is a key element to inspiration. Kids are by nature curious, things are happening in their life for the first time. They want to know more and in this way they learn. I used to do that, and sure, I can go back to that place and re-invent my curiosity.

I can remain alert when I do not feel inspired. When I feel empty, distracted, uninspired, bored or plain negative, that is a red flag. To look at the world with a fresh newborn look. To invite my child-woman back into my life. I can ask myself anytime: What is it that the child inside of me feels like doing? Just asking that question is enough. It is already one step further then complaining that I am uninspired.

Another video caught my eye as well. This time by Stuart Brown who says that play is vital, no matter your age. He works at the National Institute for Play. Can I work there please? How inspiring!

So yes, that is another word that speaks to me: play. Just doing something for its own sake. Without purpose or reason, and that is what is so particular about play. It is fun. It is no longer about purpose. It is even without purpose. He talks about body-play, object-play, curiosity, rough-and-tumble-play, imaginative play and the brain. The opposite to play is depression!

Play is the second key to inspiration. When adults forget to play and take things too serious, life becomes dry and we are feeling uninspired. Play, and forget the purpose that things are supposed to have. Do something for the fun of doing it.

More keys are of course somewhere waiting for me to find them. All in due time, of course. The child-woman inside of me will come to life anytime now. I am pregnant. With myself.

As a note to myself, a list of things to remind myself of when feeling uninspired.
– do something new, that I never tried before. As in cycle to town using another bicycle path
– do not let fear stop me from doing/trying something new
– ask my children to do something with me
– lie down on the floor and look at the situation from that perspective
– have courage and be silent, the uninspired moment will pass
– It is ok to not have a life purpose for the rest of my life. It is ok to change life purpose every day.
– out of being bored and uninspired can only come something new and exciting. It might take a while, it will pass.
– consider taking a subscription to philosophers notes.
– listen to the ebooks that I put in my inspirational bookmarks in Firefox
– call the friend that makes me laugh
– buy flowers and look at them


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While doing research on a totally different subject I found an article by Kelly Bryson called Perfecting your selfishness. This article inspires me enormously since it will help me to give of myself willingly and from the heart.
What caught my eye was a list of motto’s to help me Perfect my Selfishness.
* Me first and only, in ever situation, at all times.
* Ask for 100% of what you want 100% of the time and be prepared to empathize with any response
* Never listen to one more word than you want to hear from anyone
* You never have to answer anyone’s questions, because you are not on trial
* Trust that all your needs are gifts to other people
* Present your needs as if you were Santa Clause passing out gifts “Ho, ho, ho, you lucky dog, you get to give me a massage, if you’d like.”

Google gave me more motto’s:
* Develop the willingness to let people you love suffer (not to be confused with making them suffer).
* Never let anyone get his/her needs met at your expense. To do so is violence to both of you.
* Never do anything to prevent someone from freaking out (except babies under 15 months)
* Never give anyone the power to make you give in or rebel.

Why do I post this?

At the moment I am doing two volunteer jobs. One job is with and for the homeless or poor people in my neighborhood. The other one is in a supporting role as well. It is highly provocative and freaks me out.

Yesterday I hit the proverbial brick wall: I came home exhausted, huge headache and sad. Time to do some inner digging.

The idea about being a volunteer was to do something for others and give of my time and energy.I thought it would make me feel good. It did not. I felt vulnerable during work, I did not say that I was upset or anything. I saw myself avoiding confrontations, blaming others for what they did and did not do. So I buried myself into working harder. Why do I need to do that?

I could stop the two volunteer jobs, but that is not my style.

Giving and working hard is the nice front to cover something else up. Get the picture? I feel uneasy and cover it up with working hard.

Why the hard work? – I want to be liked – I want to be seen as a great person – I want appreciation, big time! – I kind of blame others to be lazy and for never doing enough. aka I am always better (tricky one)

So looking forward to being perfectly selfish you know. I have had enough of the giving to get appreciation. I thought I was over that. I guess I am not.

Radiant woman is having a flaw, I am human and will allow myself to grow from these volunteer jobs. Looking forward to change myself and get it over and done with.

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The perfect time of the year to dream and make plans. What happens if we dare to dream? Is there a fear of becoming who we want to be, since failure is lurking around the corner? Is it joy and excitement we feel at the thought of having our dreams fulfilled in the future?

Kingfisher And Moon, originally uploaded by billkominsky.

Dreaming can be scary business.
Many don’t dare for fear of never tasting their dreams.
But the best part of dreaming isn’t reaching what we imagine,
it’s the process of getting there.

Dreaming is like gazing into a mirror that looks into the future.
Each time we step into the reflection,
the image changes into a more real possibility.
Every experience we’ve had along our journey has enriched us immeasurably.
What we seek evolves everyday from the presence of those we meet.
We too change with every experience,
and our dream unfolds and reshapes with us.

Quote from Dare to Dream

In our dreams we make contact on another level with the Divine part of us. Through that eternal part of us that is out of reach of the five senses. It is the homeland of our intuition, the inspiration and illumination given to us from the Divine.

There the possibility for our future arises, out of the subconscious. Where we fly in the sky, carefree, dreaming and utterly happy, joyful and, the best part of it: we feel free to be who we are. So we can live as if no one is watching. Begin dreaming, then ground the dreams in reality. Some dreams have happened, some of them did not. Are there more dreams waiting to be voiced out loud? Of course!

I have come to believe that the Divine source will work through us when we allow it. This idea just makes me smile and smile: “Dreaming is like gazing into a mirror that looks into the future. Each time we step into the reflection, the image changes into a more real possibility.”

How about entering the year 2009 full of dreams well grounded and taking baby steps towards the fulfillment of your wishes? Climbing the mountain to reach the summit always begins with one step at the time. And enjoy the walk all the way, that is the best part of it.

Take me I’m yours, originally uploaded by radiant guy.

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Where does the influence of the mind begin and where does it end? How much can we take charge of our body and its functioning? To a certain degree we are the master of our life. Since we choose how we react when life deals us cards that we would prefer to not be handed. So is it true that we are also the master of our body? Can we influence how are body uses our food for example?

This line of thinking happened after reading an article on a Dutch website while researching auto-suggestion and how to change habits. The article stated that by a simple and very effective experiment you can raise the energy available to you. It said the following:

Before you begin a meal, take time to tell your body and the food that the energy of the meal is not for storage (in fat tissue) but to be used by your muscles and organs. You will notice that you have more energy, and loss of weight will follow soon after. When the weight remains fairly the same, it is time for the following phase: ask the body to release all excessively stored energy and make it available for muscles and organs.

If this is true, what I rationally can see as such, it opens up more ways that we can be in charge of our bodies. How about telling your body to remove warts? Or grow blond hair instead of the grey hair that has been progressively taking the blond hair over?

I am curious about the experiment mentioned. Steve Pavlina often says how we need a 30 day period to change a habit. I think it would be interesting to tell all my food to be used on organs and muscles and not for storage.

Would it change my level of energy?

Would I loose weight?

What is your bet on that happening?

P.S. on December 28th I found out that Abraham through Esther Hicks has a new video on you tube called Think and Get Slim, Natural Weight Loss. It is from 240 minute video on natural weight loss. Here is the question from  woman that has tried every diet, done every exercise, and still cannot lose weight.

Your mental attitude is all that you need to effectively loose weight!

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IF Opinion

IF Opinion, originally uploaded by radiant woman.

We all carry opinions and ahum (me too), we sometimes overdo it. Sharing an opinion on something can easily be seen as a big mouth saying bla bla bla.

When I think about it a little longer I reconsider the stating of an opinion. The person who hears what we say interprets the message and can make it into bla bla or as something lovely. Or something horrid, something regular, something abnormal whatever.

I would love it if I can listen to others and hear what they say as a contribution. However hard that might be for me. If people state an opinion could it be that they are concerned or passionate about something? That they are touched by it and want to say something about it? Even so called negative opinions can they come from the heart? It all depends how we interpret an opinion. What do you think?

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September 4 th of 2007: I found a cross on the street.

September 14th I began walking to the border of France. How was I to know that I would continue walking all the way to Santiago in 10 weeks?

During the trip I posted little. Next to nothing, really.
Some lines about suffering from a tendon ligament on my left foot just after leaving Cahors. Then I got curious about men and feet care, how well did my fellow pilgrims treat their feet? How inspirational  to see them pamper their feet…

A couple more posts about how liberated I felt, how I began feeling rather than talking, and started listening. So under ten posts, that was all. Due to the enormous lack of time and computers on the way of course. If I dig a little deeper in retrospect I know that that was not the main reason. I felt vulnerable and overwhelmed during the walk. Too much going on to make sense of it.

I am home for 10 months now and slowly the stories on the camino come back to me. I lost my journal. The last day it disappeared, evaporated. Never seen of heard of it again.

Now it starts to come back to me, the stories form in my head and I want to write it all down. To share the journey, the walk and the people that I met. I will not write fast, just when I feel like it. One piece after the other to cover the road. Step by step.

So bear with me, for a while, to bring my memories to the front and write them down. For me. And remember that I did not walk the camino, the camino walked me. No idea who said that, it does not matter.

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I moved into my own apartment last weekend. Strange environment, new noises, another bed, the sun waking me up in the morning and I try to enjoy being in my own place and spending time with myself. It is not a comfortable job after 13 years spending every day with some one else. I feel vulnerable, anxious and sounds make me react straight away. Baby steps, keep breathing, this will pass. I remind myself often to look for what I can do to move into another future.

Suresh of meditation photography made a remark today on the road that is less traveled and that it has made all the difference [quote by Robert Frost]. It feels good to rephrase my road as the road that makes all the difference. Even when I do not see it yet.

P.s. Just noticed another draft from the month of May dangling in cyber space. Waiting to be posted. Title: Is there one road to travel? Sure, I have been thinking about this for a long time now.

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