Archive for the ‘Tips on Living Life Fully’ Category

Working as a trainee staff member in a new learning school I face this dilemma: What do I feel inspired to do? If I am not inspired, should I wait for inspiration? This gives rise to the next set of questions: Why am I sometimes inspired and then another day not at all? What initiatives can I take to find the inspiration? Can I speed up the process?

Children seem to have inspiration to do things, adults loose that. Why is that? How can I reach the child-woman that is living inside of me?

I found a TED-video by Sugata Mitra called “Can kids teach themselves?”

He does an experiment called ‘a hole in the wall’. In this hole he places a PC and leaves it online if possible 24/7. Within minutes Indian kids find out how the mouse and the PC work and begin browsing! I quote:

The experiments have shown that, in the absence of supervision or formal teaching, children can teach themselves and each other, if they’re motivated by curiosity…

This word triggers me. Curiosity. That is a key element to inspiration. Kids are by nature curious, things are happening in their life for the first time. They want to know more and in this way they learn. I used to do that, and sure, I can go back to that place and re-invent my curiosity.

I can remain alert when I do not feel inspired. When I feel empty, distracted, uninspired, bored or plain negative, that is a red flag. To look at the world with a fresh newborn look. To invite my child-woman back into my life. I can ask myself anytime: What is it that the child inside of me feels like doing? Just asking that question is enough. It is already one step further then complaining that I am uninspired.

Another video caught my eye as well. This time by Stuart Brown who says that play is vital, no matter your age. He works at the National Institute for Play. Can I work there please? How inspiring!

So yes, that is another word that speaks to me: play. Just doing something for its own sake. Without purpose or reason, and that is what is so particular about play. It is fun. It is no longer about purpose. It is even without purpose. He talks about body-play, object-play, curiosity, rough-and-tumble-play, imaginative play and the brain. The opposite to play is depression!

Play is the second key to inspiration. When adults forget to play and take things too serious, life becomes dry and we are feeling uninspired. Play, and forget the purpose that things are supposed to have. Do something for the fun of doing it.

More keys are of course somewhere waiting for me to find them. All in due time, of course. The child-woman inside of me will come to life anytime now. I am pregnant. With myself.

As a note to myself, a list of things to remind myself of when feeling uninspired.
– do something new, that I never tried before. As in cycle to town using another bicycle path
– do not let fear stop me from doing/trying something new
– ask my children to do something with me
– lie down on the floor and look at the situation from that perspective
– have courage and be silent, the uninspired moment will pass
– It is ok to not have a life purpose for the rest of my life. It is ok to change life purpose every day.
– out of being bored and uninspired can only come something new and exciting. It might take a while, it will pass.
– consider taking a subscription to philosophers notes.
– listen to the ebooks that I put in my inspirational bookmarks in Firefox
– call the friend that makes me laugh
– buy flowers and look at them


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While doing research on a totally different subject I found an article by Kelly Bryson called Perfecting your selfishness. This article inspires me enormously since it will help me to give of myself willingly and from the heart.
What caught my eye was a list of motto’s to help me Perfect my Selfishness.
* Me first and only, in ever situation, at all times.
* Ask for 100% of what you want 100% of the time and be prepared to empathize with any response
* Never listen to one more word than you want to hear from anyone
* You never have to answer anyone’s questions, because you are not on trial
* Trust that all your needs are gifts to other people
* Present your needs as if you were Santa Clause passing out gifts “Ho, ho, ho, you lucky dog, you get to give me a massage, if you’d like.”

Google gave me more motto’s:
* Develop the willingness to let people you love suffer (not to be confused with making them suffer).
* Never let anyone get his/her needs met at your expense. To do so is violence to both of you.
* Never do anything to prevent someone from freaking out (except babies under 15 months)
* Never give anyone the power to make you give in or rebel.

Why do I post this?

At the moment I am doing two volunteer jobs. One job is with and for the homeless or poor people in my neighborhood. The other one is in a supporting role as well. It is highly provocative and freaks me out.

Yesterday I hit the proverbial brick wall: I came home exhausted, huge headache and sad. Time to do some inner digging.

The idea about being a volunteer was to do something for others and give of my time and energy.I thought it would make me feel good. It did not. I felt vulnerable during work, I did not say that I was upset or anything. I saw myself avoiding confrontations, blaming others for what they did and did not do. So I buried myself into working harder. Why do I need to do that?

I could stop the two volunteer jobs, but that is not my style.

Giving and working hard is the nice front to cover something else up. Get the picture? I feel uneasy and cover it up with working hard.

Why the hard work? – I want to be liked – I want to be seen as a great person – I want appreciation, big time! – I kind of blame others to be lazy and for never doing enough. aka I am always better (tricky one)

So looking forward to being perfectly selfish you know. I have had enough of the giving to get appreciation. I thought I was over that. I guess I am not.

Radiant woman is having a flaw, I am human and will allow myself to grow from these volunteer jobs. Looking forward to change myself and get it over and done with.

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The perfect time of the year to dream and make plans. What happens if we dare to dream? Is there a fear of becoming who we want to be, since failure is lurking around the corner? Is it joy and excitement we feel at the thought of having our dreams fulfilled in the future?

Kingfisher And Moon, originally uploaded by billkominsky.

Dreaming can be scary business.
Many don’t dare for fear of never tasting their dreams.
But the best part of dreaming isn’t reaching what we imagine,
it’s the process of getting there.

Dreaming is like gazing into a mirror that looks into the future.
Each time we step into the reflection,
the image changes into a more real possibility.
Every experience we’ve had along our journey has enriched us immeasurably.
What we seek evolves everyday from the presence of those we meet.
We too change with every experience,
and our dream unfolds and reshapes with us.

Quote from Dare to Dream

In our dreams we make contact on another level with the Divine part of us. Through that eternal part of us that is out of reach of the five senses. It is the homeland of our intuition, the inspiration and illumination given to us from the Divine.

There the possibility for our future arises, out of the subconscious. Where we fly in the sky, carefree, dreaming and utterly happy, joyful and, the best part of it: we feel free to be who we are. So we can live as if no one is watching. Begin dreaming, then ground the dreams in reality. Some dreams have happened, some of them did not. Are there more dreams waiting to be voiced out loud? Of course!

I have come to believe that the Divine source will work through us when we allow it. This idea just makes me smile and smile: “Dreaming is like gazing into a mirror that looks into the future. Each time we step into the reflection, the image changes into a more real possibility.”

How about entering the year 2009 full of dreams well grounded and taking baby steps towards the fulfillment of your wishes? Climbing the mountain to reach the summit always begins with one step at the time. And enjoy the walk all the way, that is the best part of it.

Take me I’m yours, originally uploaded by radiant guy.

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Tonight I was thinking about how hard it can sometimes be to let others be who they are. I want to change them because that would suit me better or it hurts me less. To have it my way is very nice and convenient, however in the long run it would not always be best for me and the other person involved.

Liz of Succesful bloggers has a Writing project on her blog today. Only 25 words of advice or wisdom into a blog post.

detach with love
three words hiding a promise

step back from others, let them go
like sneezing during a cold

then life can literally unfold

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This morning I took a walk. My mind always takes the lead the first couple of minutes, maybe even fifteen minutes to repeat my worries, my complaints about life and I feel sorry for myself. I just keep walking and walking and I trust the process. I have seen it happen so often, because the best part of the walk begins when the thoughts leave me. I then enter a space that supports me and nurtures me. More original and loving thoughts arrive and that is why I love to walk. To enter in this other space where I can hear the other side of myself.

The nagging thoughts were still with me when I passed a ship that looked like a castle. On top of the ship was a little tarp and underneath the tarp I saw a horse checking me out. I had to look twice to believe what my eyes were telling. It looked so silly to see that horse over there. What would a horse do on a ship? It definitely helped me to leave my nasty thoughts behind.

The sun is shining and I decide to lie down and enjoy a quiet moment in the grass. I think back about the post I wrote yesterday. That I fear to show the mountain part of myself. That maybe it is time to except the part of me that is seen as a mountain by others, where I try and keep it a valley. I know it has to do with making myself smaller than I am. To be not willing to stand out and write about what I feel like writing on the web log. I am so critical on myself, it kills it all off. The sun moves behind the clouds, I get cold and continue walking.

The side of the canal is the next part of my walk. I see a man with a long black beard and a pony tail. A man that people hardly ever walk towards, they would rather avoid him at all costs. You get the picture. His dog comes running towards me with her old tennis ball. She is not ready to give it to me to play and instead the owner, let me call him Ray, begins talking. His eyes are bright, he smells of tea and he has a beautiful smile. He is in his forties and he is all dressed in black.

He tells me about his work with the dog. For 14 years he and his dog have been spending every moment of the day together. He has seen her more than his own wife he admits. Before long I know that he is a police officer working under cover at airports to detect narcotics. Last night he checked on a big shipment of Japanese tea. Which explains why he smells of tea.

We talk about the first impression of people and how that can mislead you. Then much to my surprise Ray talks about the mountain and the valley. I get to ask him questions and he is like a teacher. He knows that people avoid him like hell because of his looks and there is nothing that he can do about it. Ray has come to terms with it, accepted it and taken on his role to be the mountain. He cannot pretend to be the valley since people never accept him as being the valley.

I got what he said loud and clear. I cannot hide the mountain aspect of myself. It is visible to others, even if I try to be the valley. Being the mountain is being myself, to become indifferent as to how others receive me. That I stop following the drums of others, that I listen to my own drummer. That I dare to be different and stand out. I have my role to play in this life and well, is it time to take that role, accept it and be like Ray with his dog or the horse on the ship.

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I was called a stubborn donkey the other day. And yes I am one, and don’t laugh you are one too! We are all stubborn in some areas in our life and we have a block there to ask for help. Or we have a fear to change our habits.

Where am I stubborn and what can I do with that knowledge?

Two Donkeys. Anes. Esel. Burros., originally uploaded by elledino.

Easy to see since where I am behaving as a donkey, the results are the same. The areas in my life where I am dissatisfied and discourage they qualify. It is visible in things happening that I do not want to happen. I look at them and I do not like them one bit. I want them to go away.

Yes, I am a player in my own drama or soap opera, life is my private theater and I keep playing the same role with the same results. Often ending up feeling not OK.

Failure is a way to begin again, this time more intelligently. Henry Ford

So I begin again and look at the things that I can do differently today. The world and people in it are my playground. I will really look and notice what is going on. There are message and clues out there. What is it they are trying to tell me, while I am in stubborn mule-mode?

I hear the workman that is building a shed next to my boat. It is raining. I offer him a cup of coffee and we chat. Any message? No it is nice to sit and drink coffee with someone else.

Where are you being a donkey? Would you like to try and see it in a different light?

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Today I read a text on The problem is the solution. It is in Dutch and here is the translation:

Within us as unique individuals we have everything needed to make a next step. A condition being that you transform every experience into a positive learning experience. Do you feel resistance (now)? That is nothing else but feedback to open the door to being effective.

Begin to understand that your chosen solution is too often the problem. And also that in every moment you make the best choice available to you, based on your consciousness/awareness, your lessons and your experiences.

Also acknowledge then that every behavior has or had a positive intention. Frans Vermeulen, journalist

My free learning experiences are all over the place really, every day in many encounters I am challenged to remain OK. Also to tell my inner critical part to shut up or else I will send it to Siberia. The biggest learning experience right now is to live my life as I feel it is OK for me to live it.

As the problem is the solution, when I am not OK with being who I am in a situation, that is the solution to become OK again. Is is that simple? The free learning then would be:

– people that challenge me and touch me, make that I react by feeling no longer OK. This is the fastest way to learn how to take care of myself and my needs.
– I am teaching myself to set healthy boundaries by listening to my feelings.
– I tell myself that I am OK whatever I do, feel or say, that my needs are OK. There are no mistakes. Things might happen to help me become more me.
– I can let go of my old belief that I am not good enough.

There is a renewed sense also to stay in the “Let Go, let love-attitude” and allow experiences to come and go. To really acknowledge that I did the best I could under the circumstances. That I am not guilty for what I did and that I got something from the experience. Next thing to look at is What is emotional detachment? How can I be true to my self and make the influence that others have on me smaller and smaller?

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