Sitting down after Sunday morning coffee. Will the words come? What is living inside of me? What is it that I want to express? When nobody is watching and I do not care that anyone is watching?
I know it is possible to write anything down. I wonder what would happen if I simply pretend that the words come.
So let’s suppose for one minute that the words are already there and that I am the one keeping them down. Interesting. The words are there, here goes. I will take the plunge and spit it out. Not edited, I will not allow my inner critic to have a go at it. Here goes.
When you have been reading here longer, you know I went to walk on the camino. I found a cross and decided to take a long walk. I felt I needed a break from my life. there was this feeling of being in a dead end road. I was scared to leave my kids and my husband. Afraid of what might happen since I was so longing and ready for change.
The plan was to walk for 5 weeks, they turned into being away from home for 11 weeks. This is what happened on the very first day.
It was on a sunny day, I remember well that my bus arrived late, traffic was huge and Lyon was a busy train station. Had to buy a ticket to take the train to St Etienne. Funny system do the French use, the machine has a rolling device and I could not figure it out. Asked around and found it simple when I knew what to do. Bought a ticket, found the right track to catch the train. Had to run on heavy mountains boots and big backpack of 10 kilo, or was it more? I jumped on board and we left.
Would I have been ten seconds later, it would have left already.
I was taking deep breaths and sweat was all over. Sitting. Wondering, excited. I was nearing my destination. At St. Etienne station I got off and another half hour waiting for the next train. A big TGV-train (super fast train) arrived from Paris. Quite a few people came out. I was standing for the TGV to move on, since my next train was to come on the track after the TGV. Or so I thought.
Two men walked by, in their fifties, healthy, strong and joyful. They were looking like they were going for a walk since they had pilgrim sticks. But they passed me and went to another smaller track at the side of the station. Luckily I followed them, curiously since they looked like pilgrims. It turned out that my train was leaving from there.
Then another man appeared , a man in black, with backpack. My body reacted, my heart skipped a beat, I got warm and a strong sensation of knowing this man I had never seen before was present. How could that be? Being attracted and pulled towards someone like that? I was in for a change, I had no idea.